|
aznsw33tpea
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Gender: Female
Interests: collecting marbles, shells, and pressed pennies.
Expertise: medicine... knitting... reading... art... the usual... everything because i'm so smart... or so i think
Occupation: Retired
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/24/2003
|
|
| Yeah, not much to say, but Happy Birthday Vivi! I updated both Facebook and Xanga for u so stop nagging! Can't wait until holiday break...still got 2 more apps to do before the tho...Anybody planning anything fun over the break ?
12
| | |
| Went through all 81 e-mails in my yahoo e-mail account that piled up since I left for Mexico, today. Haven't written here in a long time. My room's a mess. When did I get so lazy? Was I always this way, or is it dependent on how much I guilt-trip myself? Is it because I have lost a sense of duty that I save homework for the last minute? I'm sounding like Tasmin now. I read a book on sociology yesterday. And I enjoyed it thoroughly for the 2 hours I spent on it. Then I spent like the next 4 hours doing my HW in the middle of the night. A day feels incomplete without having an activity I enjoy in it... So was my 2 hours spent on that book something I felt I deserved, resulting from a life with so many comforts, or a distractor to try to repress the feeling that I needed to do my dreaded homework? Being able to spend 2 hours joyfully learning new things, only to later deprive myself of sleep and come to school and listen half-heartedly to a physics lecture and scribble down the notes in a messy manner. I need to change my attitude. Attitude...that word meant so much more to me in 8th grade...now I don't recognize it anymore. Yet I'm always afraid that change in attitude will bring something unwanted. This conflict has been in my mind for a long time. There are plenty of changes going around me all the time, yet I ignore a lot of them and continue my life the way it is. I shut myself up in my anime world for safety, afraid to confront the world that my sisters had given me small shocking glimpses of, in what feels like a long time ago. And they will come back again this weekend. But our relationship is changed. As mature college students, they will only instruct me to work hard and do my homework to complete the rest of my high school career. They will tell me to help out Mom and Dad, which I have failed in. They won't understand the struggles I've gone through or divulge in the problems or joys they've had with me. I miss their loud laughing in the other room. I miss someone bothering me in the middle of my work to tell me something good. To take my mind off of all the sad things in life and make my pains seem insignificant. I'm trying to think positive. Sometimes all you needed was a happy song in the midst of your sad ones to dry your tears, but it doesn't seem to be the case in this continual struggle that I cannot see the end of. I feel low, yet I have not been broken yet...and still the sadness keeps on building up. Thank you fellow Xanga-ers. This has nothing to do with my eye spazzing out. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I'll find what kind of a person I really am out of this. Maybe this will be forgotten as just a phase in my life that I needed to adapt out of. Maybe I need to smile more. Maybe. Don't leave me alone! | | |
| Reading books. Watching kdramas and naruto. Its all bad. Happy Birthday Katie !
| | |
| Yay! After 7 years (actually 6 and a half)...a new era has
arrived...of my 2nd clarinet! Ok, that was corny, but at least it
was an attempt to make my life sound more drama-filled... Its not
bright and multi-colored like Van wanted it, but the keys are shinier
and springier than the one I have now. Mom has crazy frugal
consumer skills. I don't know if I will play it for marching band
next year, because Ma thinks I should work more on my academics (got
some B's) and I agree with her, though I will miss the blinding
football lights.
Since the beginning of the schoolyear, I was struggling with Honors
Trig and and AP Euro, and now that I have traded Honors for regular,
it's a little less stressful. My most stressful classes now are
Euro and English (too much HW!). Just 2 days ago, I got out of my
post-vacation depressive state, as I like to call it, and now my sleep
schedule is better *cough cough VIV hack hack*..... no j/k. It's
aight. The Bible is a very encouraging resource as well as the
motivational songs on the radio. And also Taz's X entries.
One thing I am proud of is our Euro Shadow Play on France's radical
revolution, scripted by Ali. I was a pretty bad actor, but I made
a mixed CD for background music, and everybody in the group managed to
do a little bit of something. PSAT: 170 need more work on writing
part and gain more speed.
Check out AIM info to Facebook me.
| | |
| Just came back from a week of Band Camp! It was fun-we got to
play capture the flag, sardines, learn marching basics, play the new
show music (Mask of Z.), and go on a trust walk. Now, since I'm
back, I need to finish all my reading +questions stuff, which I've
hardly put a dent in (HELP!). Well here's my schedule:
1. Trig H-Hutchinson
2. Band-South
3. English 10 H-Courey
4. AP Euro History-Humphrey
5. French 2-Nishio
6. Chem H-Iverson
7. Sports PE
Locker #572L
| | |
|
|
